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The Radio Show at the End of the World (Hilary, 2020)

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Think one apocalypse is bad? Try dealing with four at the same time! Escape lockdown for a couple of hours and join us at the end of 9th week for an epic tale of unlikely heroes, Lovecraftian Gods, knowledgable Coxes, mysterious ooze, and smarter horses.

This show can be watched on our YouTube channel here


The Heroes

  • Mitchell - Charlie “my Brian is fried” Gill (Green Templeton)
  • Young - Maya “crunch louder” Walker (St Anne's)
  • Alder - Ana “back in my day, typecasting was not a thing” Pagu (Linacre)
  • Oakley - Valeriia “have you read K*nt” Gladkova (Merton)

The Coxes

  • Brian Cox - Maddie “HLEP” Hall (Oriel)
  • Ted Cox - Branoc “a nice long scream for you. to play with” Richards (Magdalen)

The Apocalypses

  • DVORSHAK - Tom “loves the taste of human soles” Vallely (Somerville)
  • The Corruption - Em “I can't believe you've done. this Ekin” Fawcett (Wadham)
  • Milton Keynes Resident - Samanwita “we just live around here” Sen (Oriel)

Radio Alpha

  • Ellis Goodman - Bethan “a Scottish Siri” Chalmers (St Hilda's)
  • Diana Russell - Velina “you're so sensitive about castration” Robinson (Mansfield)
  • Stanley Abbott - Chloe “AAAAAAAGHHH for loud” Pavey
  • Terry - Madeleine “God won't let me die” Horton
  • Continuity Announcer - Charlie “I volunteer for everything but my job” Howley (LMH)
  • Weather Man - Fen “EVERYTHING IS GREEN” Brunt (Mansfield)
  • Shipping Forecaster - RA “oh sod it, I'm off to the pub” Neat

The Military

  • General Nuisance - Richard “no more” Mifsud
  • Major Flaw - Ed “I've seen bigger” Tansley (St Anne's)
  • Officer Letdown - Fen “I always swallow” Brunt (Mansfield)
  • Private Parr - Madeleine “stop the world I want to get off” Horton

Radio Alpha Guests

  • Pete - Branoc “on time for rehearsals - unlike you” Richards (Magdalen)
  • Nicolas Whittlesby - Will “Phillips-Phillips-Phillips-Phillips” Ainsworth (St Edmund Hall)
  • Alison Prepper - Samanwita “the government sucks” Sen (Oriel)
  • Roger Blighty - Em “transcribing fever dreams” Fawcett (Wadham)
  • Peter from Middlesborough - Will “I don't know where that is” Ainsworth (St Edmund Hall)
  • Rachael from Somerset - RA “a lizard person from Brighton” Neat
  • Susan from Somewhere Miserable - Maddie “chicken and a can of coke” Hall (Oriel)
  • Troll Callers
    • Maya “powerful uvula” Walker (St Anne's)
    • RA “a thousand better apocalypses” Neat
    • Em “Velina, what's updog?” Fawcett (Wadham)
    • Chloe “what does the D stand for” Pavey
    • Velina “no seriously, what is updog??” Robinson (Mansfield)

Other Broadcasters

  • DJ Dave Slimer - Elsa “obnoxious airhorn noises” Kienberger (Pacific Lutheran University)
  • Classic FM Presenter - RA “that's the Macarena again…” Neat
  • Real Classic FM Presenter - Velina “female David Attenborough” Robinson (Mansfield)
  • Jeremy Irons - Branoc “Official OULES Nemesis” Richards (Magdalen)
  • Voiceover - Charlie “love me some mysterious ooze” Howley (LMH)
  • Poor Fool - Samanwita “NO! How did you find me, get out!” Sen (Oriel)
  • Dramatic Monologuer - RA “You cannot run from me, Gary!” Neat

The Secret Life of Traffic Cones

  • David Attenborough - Charlie “unreasonably long tongue” Gill
  • James Bond - Tom “dangerously hot” Vallely (Somerville)
  • Continuity Annoucement - Charlie “the real protagonist” Howley (LMH)
  • Milton Keynes Resident - Fen “I just really hate James Bond ok?” Brunt (Mansfield)
  • Cameraman - Bethan “ew” Chalmers (St Hilda’s)
  • Screaming
  • Music
    • ”Please” - Wayne Jones, Support by RFM-NCM
    • ”007 James Bond” - Eleven Music


  • Director - Valeriia “louder, urgent-er, and beepy-er” Gladkova (Merton)
  • AD - Velina “I resent the lack of a whip” Robinson (Mansfield)
  • AAD - Will “listen her, [GOVERNMENT CLICHÉ]” Ainsworth (St Edmund Hall)
  • Production Manager - George “they're all Secret Bethans” Sutherland (Merton)
  • Production Assistant - Pepper “Blep” Blep
  • Musical Directors
    • RA “queers in your ears” Neat
    • Cameron “instruments of torture” Alsop (Former St Catherine's)
  • Marketing
  • Sound Editing
  • Writers

One Shot Writers

  • The Secret Life if Traffic Cones - Charlie “a warning for us all” Gill
  • Save the World - Bethan “eating a salad at 10pm” Chalmers (St Hilda’s)
  • Jeremy Irons - Branoc “have you considered doing it as a Radio Play” Richards (Magdalen)
  • Classic FM - Em “ad-lib Fur Elise lyrics” Fawcett (Wadham)
  • Poor Fool and Mysterious Ooze -
  • Dramatic Monologuer - Em “pidgeon hater” Fawcett (Wadham)
  • Roger Blighty Post-credits scene - Em “LOUDER GERMAN SOUNDS” Fawcett (Wadham)

Song Writers

  • Breaking News - Cameron “I'm being sensible” Alsop (Former St Catherine's)
  • A Pair of Cox - Maddie “Tim Minchin, but from Liverpool” Hall (Oriel)
  • Give Me Some False Hope - Maddie “give me some false teeth” Hall (Oriel)
    • Maya “we love DVORSHAK” Walker
    • Tom “give us more-shak” Vallely (Somerville)
  • Love at the End of the World -
    • Em “forgot the acronym” Fawcett (Wadham)
    • RA “the screaming's getting quiet” Neat
    • Cameron “keeps house up with Loud Sax” Alsop (Former St Catherine's)
  • Not the Villain -
    • Em “It's almost a mercy killin'” Fawcett (Wadham)
    • RA “you'd be nothing without us” Neat
    • Cameron “pepper grinder as an egg shaker” Alsop (Former St Catherine's)
  • The Shipping Forecast - RA “if all else fails, turn on your radio” Neat

Jingle Writers

  • Radio Alpha jingles -
  • Squeaking Clean/Mysterious Ooze“ - RA “don't worry if it oozes” Neat


Angry German DriversRA Neat
Meaty ThwackCharlie Gill
Army SoundsCharlie Howley
Em Fawcett
Assorted Bird NoisesMaya Walker
Bouncy BallEm Fawcett
Thuddy KnocksFen Brunt
GulpValeriia Gladkova
KalimbaMaya Walker
TappingMaya Walker
Paper RustlingCharlie Gill
FumbleCharlie Gill
Getting UpFen Brunt
Poor Eyes BystanderValeriia Gladkova
ScreamsCharlie Gill
Charlie Howley
Em Fawcett
Maya Walker
Valeriia Gladkova
Velina Robinson
Zombie MoansCharlie Gill
Charlie Howley
Chloe Pavey
Maya Walker
Valeriia Gladkova
Velina Robinson
Conference QuestionsCharlie Gill
Charlie Howley
Em Fawcett
Maya Walker
Chloe Pavey

Additional sound effects from
Additional sound effects from
'Darude Sandstorm Kazoo Cover' by Calidad on Youtube

Script and Programme

Flosscars Wins

Best Villainous CharacterDVORSHAK - Tom Vallely (Somerville)
Best Group/Double Act The Cox Brothers - Maddie Hall (Oriel) and Branoc Richards (Associate MCR at Magdalen)
Best Script Em Fawcett (Wadham) and Ekin Pehlivan
Best Marketing CampaignCharlie Gill (Green Templeton) and Tom Vallely (Somerville)
Best Best SFX Kalimba (Brian Cox Disappears/Fariy Godmother's Magic Noises) - Maya Walker (St Anne’s)
The ‘Beyond the Call of Duty’ Award for Going Beyond the Call of DutyAll the editing teams for everything ever - Charlie Gill (Green Templeton); Fen Brunt (Mansfield); Valeriia Gladkova (Merton); George Sutherland; Maya Walker; Will Ainsworth (Teddy Hall); Branoc Richards (Associate MCR at Magdalen); Aleksandra Matkowska (Keble); Alice Hackney (St John’s)

Flosscars Nominations

Best Heroic Character Mitchell - Charlie Gill (Green Templeton)
Young - Maya Walker (St Anne’s)
Ted Cox - Branoc Richards (Associate MCR at Magdalen)
Terry - Madeleine Horton
Best Villainous CharacterThe Corruption - Em Fawcett (Wadham)
Nicolas Whittlesby - Will Ainsworth (Teddy Hall)
DJ Slimer - Elsa Kienberger (Pacific Lutheran University)
Best Morally Ambiguous CharacterBrian Cox - Maddie Hall (Oriel)
Diana Russell - Velina Robinson (Mansfield)
Stanley Abbott - Chloe Pavey
Roger Blighty - Em Fawcett (Wadham)
Jeffrey Voiceover - Charlie Howley (LMH)
Best Group/Double Act Walkie-Talkie Heroes - Charlie Gill (Green Templeton); Maya Walker; Ana Pagu (Linacre); Valeriia Gladkova (Merton)
Radio Alpha Hosts - Bethan Chalmers (St Hilda’s); Velina Robinson (Mansfield); Chloe Pavey; Madeleine Horton
Russell and Slimer - Velina Robinson (Mansfield) and Elsa Kienberger (Pacific Lutheran University)
Voiceover and Pool Fool - Charlie Howley (LMH) and Samanwita Sen (Oriel)
Best CoupleMitchell and Young - Charlie Gill (Green Templeton) and Maya Walker (St Anne’s)
Brian Cox and DVORSHAK - Maddie Hall (Oriel) and Tom Vallely (Somerville)
Best Spurious AccentDVORSHAK - Tom Vallely (Somerville)
Brian Cox - Maddie Hall (Oriel)
Pete - Branoc Richards (Associate MCR at Magdalen)
Rachel from Somerset - RA Neat
Peter from Middlesborough - Will Ainsworth (Teddy Hall)
Best Directing Team Valeriia Gladkova (Merton) and Velina Robinson (Mansfield)
Best SongBreaking News - Cameron Alsop (Former St Catherine’s)
A Pair of Cox - Maddie Hall (Oriel)
Give Me Some False Hope - Maddie Hall (Oriel)
DVOR-SHACK - Maya Walker (St Anne’s)and Tom Vallely (Somerville)
Not the Villain - Em Fawcett (Wadham); RA Neat; Cameron Alsop (Former St Catherine’s)
Best Performance of a SongA Pair of Cox - Maddie Hall (Oriel)
Give Me Some False Hope - Charlie Gill (Green Templeton)
DVOR-SHACK - Tom Vallely (Somerville) and Maya Walker (St Anne’s)
Love at the End of the World - Charlie Gill (Green Templeton)
Not the Villain - Em Fawcett (Wadham)
Best Marketing PhotoMitchell - Charlie Gill (Green Templeton)
Young - Maya Walker (St Anne’s)
Oakley - Valeriia Gladkova (Merton)
Brian Cox - Maddie Hall (Oriel)
Ted Cox - Branoc Richards (Associate MCR at Magdalen)
DVORSHAK - Tom Vallely (Somerville)
Ellis Goodman - Bethan Chalmers (St Hilda’s)
Roger Blighty - Em Fawcett (Wadham)
Classic FM Presenter - RA Neat
Jeffrey Voiceover - Charlie Howley (LMH)
Best Worst SFXWorm Munching - Maya Walker (St Anne’s)
Bouncy Ball - Fen Brunt (Mansfield)
Gilp - Valeriia Gladkova (Merton)
DJ Slimer's Airhorns - Charlie Gill (Green Templeton)
DJ Slimer's Illuminati Pigeon - Charlie Gill (Green Templeton)
Kazoo Cover of Darude Sandstorm - Fen Brunt (Mansfield) and Charlie Gill (Green Templeton)
Jeremy Irons Murder Birbs - Maya Walker (St Anne’s)
Best Best SFXSpace Whoosh Revamp - Charlie Gill (Green Templeton)
Ominous Pit Noise - Fen Brunt (Mansfield)
The Corruption's Voice Effect - Charlie Gill (Green Templeton)
Meaty Thwack TM - Charlie Gill (Green Templeton)
Classic FM Instrument Crash - Valeriia Gladkova (Merton) and Fen Brunt (Mansfield)
Best Noise From a CastmemberWorm Munching - Maya Walker (St Anne’s)
Ted Cox's Many Screams - Branoc Richards (Associate MCR at Magdalen)
Zombie Moans - Charlie Gill (Green Templeton); Charlie Howley (LMH); Chloe Pavey; Maya Walker; Valeriia Gladkova (Merton); Velina Robinson (Mansfield)
Gilp - Valeriia Gladkova (Merton)
DVORSHAK SOUNDS OF DESPAIR after being cyberbullied - Tom Vallely (Somerville)
DVORSHAK warmup noises - Tom Vallely (Somerville)
Jeremy Irons Muder Birbs - Maya Walker (St Anne’s)
Best Soundscape Radio Alpha Jingles - RA Neat and Cameron Alsop (Former St Catherine’s)
Screaming and general sounds of disaster throughout Terry's lines - Charlie Gill (Green Templeton)
German Motorway - Fen Brunt (Mansfield)
Cox Phone Fight - Maddie Hall (Oriel); Branoc Richards (Associate MCR at Magdalen); Charlie Gill (Green Templeton)
Zombies break in to Radio Alpha and attack the continuity announcer - Charlie Gill (Green Templeton)
DJ Slimer's Soundboard - Charlie Gill (Green Templeton)
“Ow” *thud* *jazz* - Fen Brunt (Mansfield)
Best Cock-Up Backstage or During a RehearsalVal recording 40 minutes of directorial notes - Valeriia Gladkova (Merton)
Val uploading the wrong version of scene 2.2 (rip gravelly footsteps) - Valeriia Gladkova (Merton)
Maya nearly giving the sound editing chat a heart attack by telling them that act 2 wasn't finished when it was already half uploaded - Maya Walker (St Anne’s)
“What's updog?” - Velina Robinson (Mansfield)
Best Ad-Lib/OuttakeTed Cox's 'saxophone' solo - Branoc Richards (Associate MCR at Magdalen)
Brian bit my ears - Branoc Richards (Associate MCR at Magdalen)
“Timmy?” - Em Fawcett (Wadham) and Ekin Pehlivan
“Batteries not included” - Charlie Gill (Green Templeton)
“Flight of the mumblebees” - RA Neat
“What's updog?” - Velina Robinson (Mansfield)
Best Audience Participation/HeckleJack committing identity theft in the YouTube chat - Jack Slater (St Edmund Hall)
“Guys I don't get it. What is updog?” - Velina Robinson (Mansfield)
“Can’t believe I’ve been tricked into being serenaded by a man” - Maya Walker (St Anne’s)
“Oakley should get into positive nihilism” - Jack Slater (St Edmund Hall)
The entire audience's sympathy for DVORSHAK - The Entire Audience
Best Quote from a Script “Let's just think about this for a second…” “YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!” - Ana Pagu (Linacre); Charlie Gill (Green Templeton); Em Fawcett (Wadham); Ekin Pehlivan
“The truth is not the official government’s position at this time.” - Will Ainsworth (Teddy Hall); Em Fawcett (Wadham); Ekin Pehlivan
“DVORSHAK IS WIDE AND GIRTHY BEYOND YOUR DREAMS OLD MAN” - Tom Vallely (Somerville); Em Fawcett (Wadham); Ekin Pehlivan
“Right now, an alien destroyer the size of your mum is slowly preparing to send cosmic rays down on the planet Earth” - Maddie Hall (Oriel); Em Fawcett (Wadham); Ekin Pehlivan
“YOU ARE CORRECT, BRIAN OF THE COCKS” - Tom Vallely (Somerville); Em Fawcett (Wadham); Ekin Pehlivan
“Scientists have discovered that the emperor penguins have lost Constantinople and are now ottoman penguins.” - Velina Robinson (Mansfield); Em Fawcett (Wadham); Ekin Pehlivan
“Space always has, and always will be, beyond our full comprehension. The planets and moons that form up our solar system are calling out to you. Can you hear them, in the darkness? If you walk outside and look up, you will hear their song, a tune played out across the infinity of space. The black holes know the words, but even the atoms can tell when the song must come to an end.” - Maddie Hall (Oriel); Em Fawcett (Wadham); Ekin Pehlivan
The “Ooh You Luvvie” Award for Actually Being Able to Act Charlie Gill (Green Templeton) for Mitchell
Maya Walker (St Anne’s)for Young
Maddie Hall (Oriel) for Brian Cox
Tom Vallely (Somerville) for DVORSHAK
Em Fawcett (Wadham) for the Corruption
Valeriia Gladkova (Merton) for Oakley
The ‘Beyond the Call of Duty’ Award for Going Beyond the Call of DutyEm and Ekin for producing an emergency radio play script over the Easter vac and actually managing to complete it - Em Fawcett (Wadham) and Ekin Pehlivan
Val for stepping in to direct the radio show at the last minute despite already having CULES committments - Valeriia Gladkova (Merton)
RA and Cameron for all the fantastic music work - RA Neat and Cameron Alsop (Former St Catherine’s)
Tom for staying up all night to help the editors review scenes for the radio show - Tom Vallely (Somerville)
Charlie G for (unexpectedly) being responsible for putting the whole radio show video together at the last minute, whilst still putting out marketing posts and having already done an all-nighter - Charlie Gill (Green Templeton)
shows/radio_show.txt · Last modified: 2021/06/20 07:54 by lily