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The Radio Show at the End of the World (Hilary, 2020)

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Think one apocalypse is bad? Try dealing with four at the same time! Escape lockdown for a couple of hours and join us at the end of 9th week for an epic tale of unlikely heroes, Lovecraftian Gods, knowledgable Coxes, mysterious ooze, and smarter horses.

This show can be watched on our YouTube channel here


The Heroes

  • Mitchell - Charlie “my Brian is fried” Gill (Green Templeton)
  • Young - Maya “crunch louder” Walker (St Anne's)
  • Alder - Ana “back in my day, typecasting was not a thing” Pagu (Linacre)
  • Oakley - Valeriia “have you read K*nt” Gladkova (Merton)

The Coxes

  • Brian Cox - Maddie “HLEP” Hall (Oriel)
  • Ted Cox - Branoc “a nice long scream for you. to play with” Richards (Magdalen)

The Apocalypses

  • DVORSHAK - Tom “loves the taste of human soles” Vallely (Somerville)
  • The Corruption - Em “I can't believe you've done. this Ekin” Fawcett (Wadham)
  • Milton Keynes Resident - Samanwita “we just live around here” Sen (Oriel)

Radio Alpha

  • Ellis Goodman - Bethan “a Scottish Siri” Chalmers (St Hilda's)
  • Diana Russell - Velina “you're so sensitive about castration” Robinson (Mansfield)
  • Stanley Abbott - Chloe “AAAAAAAGHHH for loud” Pavey
  • Terry - Madeleine “God won't let me die” Horton
  • Continuity Announcer - Charlie “I volunteer for everything but my job” Howley (LMH)
  • Weather Man - Fen “EVERYTHING IS GREEN” Brunt (Mansfield)
  • Shipping Forecaster - RA “oh sod it, I'm off to the pub” Neat

The Military

  • General Nuisance - Richard “no more” Mifsud
  • Major Flaw - Ed “I've seen bigger” Tansley (St Anne's)
  • Officer Letdown - Fen “I always swallow” Brunt (Mansfield)
  • Private Parr - Madeleine “stop the world I want to get off” Horton

Radio Alpha Guests

  • Pete - Branoc “on time for rehearsals - unlike you” Richards (Magdalen)
  • Nicolas Whittlesby - Will “Phillips-Phillips-Phillips-Phillips” Ainsworth (St Edmund Hall)
  • Alison Prepper - Samanwita “the government sucks” Sen (Oriel)
  • Roger Blighty - Em “transcribing fever dreams” Fawcett (Wadham)
  • Peter from Middlesborough - Will “I don't know where that is” Ainsworth (St Edmund Hall)
  • Rachael from Somerset - RA “a lizard person from Brighton” Neat
  • Susan from Somewhere Miserable - Maddie “chicken and a can of coke” Hall (Oriel)
  • Troll Callers
    • Maya “powerful uvula” Walker (St Anne's)
    • RA “a thousand better apocalypses” Neat
    • Em “Velina, what's updog?” Fawcett (Wadham)
    • Chloe “what does the D stand for” Pavey
    • Velina “no seriously, what is updog??” Robinson (Mansfield)

Other Broadcasters

  • DJ Dave Slimer - Elsa “obnoxious airhorn noises” Kienberger (Pacific Lutheran University)
  • Classic FM Presenter - RA “that's the Macarena again…” Neat
  • Real Classic FM Presenter - Velina “female David Attenborough” Robinson (Mansfield)
  • Jeremy Irons - Branoc “Official OULES Nemesis” Richards (Magdalen)
  • Voiceover - Charlie “love me some mysterious ooze” Howley (LMH)
  • Poor Fool - Samanwita “NO! How did you find me, get out!” Sen (Oriel)
  • Dramatic Monologuer - RA “You cannot run from me, Gary!” Neat

The Secret Life of Traffic Cones

  • David Attenborough - Charlie “unreasonably long tongue” Gill
  • James Bond - Tom “dangerously hot” Vallely (Somerville)
  • Continuity Annoucement - Charlie “the real protagonist” Howley (LMH)
  • Milton Keynes Resident - Fen “I just really hate James Bond ok?” Brunt (Mansfield)
  • Cameraman - Bethan “ew” Chalmers (St Hilda’s)
  • Screaming
  • Music
    • ”Please” - Wayne Jones, Support by RFM-NCM
    • ”007 James Bond” - Eleven Music


  • Director - Valeriia “louder, urgent-er, and beepy-er” Gladkova (Merton)
  • AD - Velina “I resent the lack of a whip” Robinson (Mansfield)
  • AAD - Will “listen her, [GOVERNMENT CLICHÉ]” Ainsworth (St Edmund Hall)
  • Production Manager - George “they're all Secret Bethans” Sutherland (Merton)
  • Production Assistant - Pepper “Blep” Blep
  • Musical Directors
    • RA “queers in your ears” Neat
    • Cameron “instruments of torture” Alsop (Former St Catherine's)
  • Marketing
  • Sound Editing
  • Writers

One Shot Writers

  • The Secret Life if Traffic Cones - Charlie “a warning for us all” Gill
  • Save the World - Bethan “eating a salad at 10pm” Chalmers (St Hilda’s)
  • Jeremy Irons - Branoc “have you considered doing it as a Radio Play” Richards (Magdalen)
  • Classic FM - Em “ad-lib Fur Elise lyrics” Fawcett (Wadham)
  • Poor Fool and Mysterious Ooze -
  • Dramatic Monologuer - Em “pidgeon hater” Fawcett (Wadham)
  • Roger Blighty Post-credits scene - Em “LOUDER GERMAN SOUNDS” Fawcett (Wadham)

Song Writers

  • Breaking News - Cameron “I'm being sensible” Alsop (Former St Catherine's)
  • A Pair of Cox - Maddie “Tim Minchin, but from Liverpool” Hall (Oriel)
  • Give Me Some False Hope - Maddie “give me some false teeth” Hall (Oriel)
    • Maya “we love DVORSHAK” Walker
    • Tom “give us more-shak” Vallely (Somerville)
  • Love at the End of the World -
    • Em “forgot the acronym” Fawcett (Wadham)
    • RA “the screaming's getting quiet” Neat
    • Cameron “keeps house up with Loud Sax” Alsop (Former St Catherine's)
  • Not the Villain -
    • Em “It's almost a mercy killin'” Fawcett (Wadham)
    • RA “you'd be nothing without us” Neat
    • Cameron “pepper grinder as an egg shaker” Alsop (Former St Catherine's)
  • The Shipping Forecast - RA “if all else fails, turn on your radio” Neat

Jingle Writers

  • Radio Alpha jingles -
  • Squeaking Clean/Mysterious Ooze“ - RA “don't worry if it oozes” Neat


Angry German DriversRA Neat
Meaty ThwackCharlie Gill
Army SoundsCharlie Howley
Em Fawcett
Assorted Bird NoisesMaya Walker
Bouncy BallEm Fawcett
Thuddy KnocksFen Brunt
GulpValeriia Gladkova
KalimbaMaya Walker
TappingMaya Walker
Paper RustlingCharlie Gill
FumbleCharlie Gill
Getting UpFen Brunt
Poor Eyes BystanderValeriia Gladkova
ScreamsCharlie Gill
Charlie Howley
Em Fawcett
Maya Walker
Valeriia Gladkova
Velina Robinson
Zombie MoansCharlie Gill
Charlie Howley
Chloe Pavey
Maya Walker
Valeriia Gladkova
Velina Robinson
Conference QuestionsCharlie Gill
Charlie Howley
Em Fawcett
Maya Walker
Chloe Pavey

Additional sound effects from
Additional sound effects from
'Darude Sandstorm Kazoo Cover' by Calidad on Youtube

Script and Programme

Flosscars Wins

Flosscars Nominations

shows/radio_show.txt · Last modified: 2021/03/08 16:25 by lily