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Dick Turpentine (Michaelmas, 2000)

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Not only is it the only pantomime to be named after its villain, Dick Turpentine also features a full cast of goodies and baddies, including dames, fairies, imps and assorted random characters. With robberies, kidnap and blackmail, who needs a comprehensible plot? Shout at the baddies, yell they're behind you at appropriate intervals, cheer the good guys on and generally behave like a load of five year olds. Please leave your maturity and inhibitions at the entrance so that they do not block the fire exits.


  • Bob Lampwick - noga “A Lampwick by any other name would smell as much” zivan (Wadham)
  • Vera de Vere - Danielle “I'll have you know I've got a black belt in origami” Cotter
  • Dick Turpentine (AKA Sir Richard Hogswash) - Kate “It's a good job you're a talented criminal, sir!” Broadhurst
  • Whitewash - Rhi “Whitewash, you are a useless slop bucket!” Mogridge
  • Uleich the Ultimate Baddie - Franco “You really do have a marvellous criminal mind, sir!” Woolfe
  • Fairy Blobmother - Elizabeth “I keep forgetting to speak in rhyme and I get it wrong half the time.” Baldwin (Wadham)
  • Lady de Vere - Catherine “The stuck up old hag from the castle, who hasn't smiled since 1921!” Harrison
  • Dame Lampwick - Duncan “The foul mouthed washerwoman from the village?” Coutts (Worcester)
  • Gobby - Suzanne “Ever since he swallowed that dictionary, it's been impossible to understand him.” Calebrese
  • Humpty Dumpty - Dev “Look at me - I'm an egg!” Gangjee
  • Policemen -
    • Liz Norman
    • Michael Mansour
    • Alice Volmera


  • Director - Liz Norman
  • Producer - noga zivan (Wadham)
  • Script - Liz Norman (helped and hindered by the cast)

Script and Programme

Flosscars Wins

Best Bad GuyFranco Woolfe for Ulrich the Ultimate Baddie
Best Impersonation of a person on the opposite sexDuncan Coutts (Worcester) for Dame Lampwick
Most Quoted LineDev Gangee for “Look at me, I'm an egg!”
Best caricature of oneselfElizabeth Baldwin (Wadham) for the Fairy Blobmother
Best onstage tantrumCatherine Harrison for Lady de Vere insisting that her daughter cannot marry Bob Lampwick
Best HeckleAlex Runchman
Best costumeDuncan Coutts (Worcester) for Dame Lampwick's dress
Best Performance VenueThe school with the kids with behavioural problems and a raised stage

Flosscars Nominations

Best heronoga zivan (Wadham) for Bob Lampwick
Best heroineDanielle Cotter for Vera de Vere
Best Bad GuyKate Broadhurst for Dick Turpentine
Best inanimate objectHobby Horse
Fairy Blobmother's Fairy Wand
Best Love Scenenoga zivan (Wadham) and Dannielle Cotter for Bob and Vera
Most Quoted LineKate Broadhurst and Rhian Mogridge for “Wahahahaha!”
Best special effectThe (slightly late) Woo hoo and flashing lights
The Signs giving locations
Best Line LearnerLiz Norman for policeman
Best Worst Line LearnerFranco Woolfe for Ulrich the Ultimate Baddie
Best onstage tantrumDannielle Cotter for Vera de Vere saying she will not stay around to be rescued because she has a black belt in origami
Best off stage tantrumnoga zivan (Wadham) for four actors hadn't showed up at the Mabel Pritchard School
Best Ad Lib:Kate Broadhurst, Rhian Mogridge and Susanne Calabrese for going into the audience to combat heckling
Best scene changeChaise Longue
The signs changing location at a flip
Best Last Minute OULELiz Norman for standing in as a policeman - twice!
Best speechRhian Mogridge for Whitewash's eulogy on the virtues of tea
Best Acting Despite HangoverLiz Norman for the policeman
Kate Broadhurst for Dick Turpentine
shows/dick_turpentine.txt · Last modified: 2018/05/03 09:40 by lily