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• Dracula - Matthew “Most attractive package” Robinson (Wadham)
• Jonathan Harker - Dom “Gorgeous” Mattos (STB)
• Sexy Vamps - Helen Shield, Katherine Oliver and Maddi Leary
• Lucy Westonra - Ruth “Ball Bouncingly Beautiful” Weyman
• Mina Harker - Charli “There's more to a relationship than carnal pleasure” Massey
• Jack Seward - Elizabeth “Wetter than a fish's wet bits” Baldwin (Balliol)
• Arthur Holmewood - Sally “I do a rather good line in rough shag” Close
• Quincey C Morris - Duncan “There's nothing like a good rogering” Coutts (Worcester)
• Butler - Christopher “Talent oozes from every pore” Nairne
• Maid - Mark “Knees apart she's the greatest” Jenkins
• Sister Sledge - Laura “I've go all my sisters with me” Horgan
• Sister Act - Katherine “Tell him to drop his trousers” Oliver
• Sister Maria - Maddi “But I need a wimple…” Leary
• Sister Agatha - Ariel “Were we supposed to bring presents?” Gaines
• Ship's Captain - Mark “No-one tosses themselves off on my ship” Jenkins
• Olgaron - Paul “There's something going on on this ship cap'n” Miyagawa
• Navy -
  • Maddi Leary
  • Katherine Oliver
  • Helen Shield
  • Laura Horgan
  • Natalie Wells
  • Ariel Gaines
  • Andrea Watts
• O'Connell - Harry “Mad as a button” Ullman (Wadham)
• Renfield - Louise “Strange and off-puting” Sherlock (St John's)
• Goths - Helen Shield and Paul Miyagawa
• Monty - As Himself
• Van Helsing - Tom “Craizy” Reynolds
• Priest - Mark “Hallowed is not a name” Jenkins
• Mary - Nicole Gera and Helen Shield

• Director - Andrea “Looks like the Virgin Mary” Watts
• Amazing Musicians - Simon Meredith, Will Bartlett and Russell Whitehead
• All Animals - Sally “I could make you one of those” Close
• Writer - Andrea Watts