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The Last Cow in Nowheresville (Trinity, 2010)
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Last Cow tells the tale of a young adventurer's stay in a seemingly innocuous place called Nowheresville, a town beset by villainy from all sides, in which the only cow left looks suspiciously like a pantomime horse. The play is notable for its use of meta-textual dialogue, its genre-savvy characters, and the large amount of cross-dressing
Cast
- Narrator - Marcus “speaking of penis jokes” Garner-Hatcher (Lincoln)
- Bad Hench - Seb “three commandments I haven't broken yet” Atay
- Ugly Hench - Helen “I'll verb your noun” Nightingale (Somerville)
- Old Spurious Exposition - Péter “néver” Connell
Production
- Written by - The SHAM
- Additional Material by - Marcus “more words that are funny” Garner-Hatcher (Lincoln)
- Directed by - Jenni Goodchild (Mansfield) and rk hughes (hertford)
- Musical Director - Samuel “did not sign up for this” Swinnerton (Queen's)
- Songs by :
- Perry Hartland-Asbury (Mansfield)
- Jenni Goodchild (Mansfield)
- Fabby Styles (Oriel)
- Samuel Swinnerton (Queen's)
- Felicity White (Merton)
- With help from :
- Marcus Garner-Hatcher (Lincoln)
- Jonathan Sims (St. Hilda's)
- Sasha McKenna (St Hildas)
- rk hughes (hertford)
Script and Programme
Flosscars Wins
| Best Prop | Tim Ledsam (Hertford) for The Plot Crunch-o-matic 3000 |
| Best Special Effect | Perry Hartland-Asbury (Mansfield) for Tumbleweed |
| Best fluff/fuck-up/cock-up during a performance | Tim Ledsam (Hertford) for Breaking Rule 3. You know, the one that was written because of this incident… |
Flosscars Nominations
| Best Hero | Tom Perkins (New) for The Line-Dance Kid |
| The “M-Tropolis and M-Town” award for Best Double Act/Couple | Dan Artus (Regent's Park) and Tom Perkins (New) for The Line-Dance Kid and Wayne Clintwood Sasha McKenna (St Hildas) and Fabby Styles (Oriel) for Sheriff Benedict and Butch the Indecisively Named |
| Best Portrayal of a Member of the Opposite Sex | Sasha McKenna (St Hildas) for Butch the Spurious Adjective Thomas Woolley (St Johns) for Virginia Cockermouth |
| The “Tom Reynolds” Award for most Spurious Accent | Mariel Harrison (St Hilda's) for Deputy Lauren Order Tim Ledsam (Hertford) for Ducky the Hooker Tim Ledsam (Hertford) for Mexican Bandito Marcus Garner-Hatcher (Lincoln) for Old Line Dance Kid The whole cast |
| Best Directing Team | Jenni Goodchild (Mansfield), rk hughes (hertford) and Samuel Swinnerton (Queen's) |
| Best Writer | The SHAM and Marcus Garner-Hatcher (Lincoln) |
| Best Song | Fabby Styles (Oriel) for Any Man I Can Felicity White (Merton) and Samuel Swinnerton (Queen's) for Nothing Ever Happens Here In Nowheresville |
| Best Costume | Tim Ledsam (Hertford) for Ducky the Hooker |
| Best fluff/fuck-up/cock-up during a performance | Perry Hartland-Asbury (Mansfield) and Tim Ledsam (Hertford) for The onstage destruction of the plot-crunch-o-matic… |
| Best Quote (during a show) | Martin Corcoran (St. Edmund Hall) and The SHAM for “Moo moo I'm a coo milk me noo milk me noo” Richard Owen (Ex-Lincoln) and The SHAM for “Pseudoscience away!…Oh yes, this pulsating erection should give us quite the golden shower.” |
| The “Dan Artus” Award for Best Worst Line-learner | Richard Owen (Ex-Lincoln) for Doc Green Dan Artus (Regent's Park) for Wayne Clintwood |
| The “Ooh you luvvie” Award for actually being able to act | Helen Nightingale (Somerville) for Ugly Hench |
| The “Beyond the Call of Duty” Award for Going Beyond the Call of Duty | Helen Nightingale (Somerville) for Ugly Hench |