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This version of Shakespeare’s blood-soaked tragedy goes a little off the rails when it attracts the attention of two eager vampires seeking out a holiday home in somewhere with a suitably sanguine climate. When three inexperienced witches find their efforts to change the course of history thwarted by this exterior meddling and struggle to set events back on the right track, it’s safe to say that all may not go as planned for the man who hopes to make himself King of Scotland – or at least, for his ambitious wife. With the addition of a troupe of incompetent soldiers, a desperate chef, and a whole host of musical encumbrances, the Bard himself would struggle to bring about a resolution.

• Macbeth - Chris “The opposite of common L is Special K” Chang (St Anne's)
• Lady Macbeth - Lily “102% of the power couple” Massey (Pembroke)

• Macduff - Warwick “We found a use for the handcuffs” Warwick Wagner (St Anne's)
• Lady Macduff - Elsie “I was a right old wench” Clark (St Anne's)

• Banquo - Alice “Yo, is it my line” Yates (Trinity)
• Fleance - Ali “Knife skills are transferable” Witheford (Magdalen)
• Séance - Em “I haven't had my line yet!” Fawcett (Wadham)

• Sabrina - Macey “Transitionary noise” Pattenden (Worcester)
• Hermione - Libby “I came here to act and I'm just being me” Alldread (Corpus Christi)
• Ursula - Harram “Very dramatic - I was very scared” Khurram (?)
• The Laddie of the Loch - Sebastian “OH MY GOD - oh, wait, sorry” Morson (St Anne's)

• Vlad - Paul “Fear, happiness and arousal” Becsi (Oriel)
• Edwin - Jake “Bad at Vlad” Caudwell (Magdalen)

• Sergeant MacStabbem - Nicole “They Boink you is correct” Tong (?)
• Private Mauler - Max “Any threatening children and I'm in” Northcott (St Anne's)
• Private Giggler - Fabian “Not in the business of doing things legally” Bourdeaux (St Anne's)
• Private Killer - Cassie “I can't say getting stabbed was on my plan for the day but sure” Wicks (St Hilda's)

• Buffy - Bíbor “I would be exposing myself” Batki (St Hugh's)
• Van Helsing - Rithvik “…” Chatterjee (?)
• The Executioner - Brunt “All kind of jiggling” Brunt

• MacChef - Freddie Houlahan “THUS SPAKE THE HUNGRY CATERPILLAR” Houlahan (Balliol)
• Clara - Maja “You just got banged” Kowaleska (Magdalen)
• Lara - Heledd “The other one” Newton (LMH)
• Zara - Maya “Parody of a person” Walker (St Anne's)
• The Porter - Kaleb “A veteran of poor customer service” Ells (St Anne's)

• King Duncan - Sebastian “”“BANTER”“” Morson (St Anne's)
• King Duncan XIII - Fen “Oooh, dead people” Brunt
• King Duncan XIV - Nicole “Got stabbed by a violin” Tong (?)
• King Duncan XV - Elsbeth “I love playing 35 year old men” Rogers (St John's)

• Director - Patrick “Trying to establish dominance” Painter (St Anne's)
• Assistant Directors
  • Amy “Cradle a bowl like your sad child” Hemsworth (Univ)
  • Fen “My witch meat shield” Brunt
  • Elspeth “You are an idiot” Rogers (St John's)

• Writer - Jake “I can see the tears on your inside” Caudwell (Magdalen)
• Script Editors
  • Jake “I can see the tears on your inside” Caudwell (Magdalen)
  • Amy “I like animal sacrifice” Hemsworth (Univ)
  • Patrick “Daddy of kings” Painter (St Anne's)
  • Elspeth “Top fish is quite fun” Rogers (St John's)

• Producer - Sebastian “Drugging is okay if it makes things good” Morson (St Anne's)
• Production Manager - Amy “Hug him, rob him, knock him out” Hemsworth (Univ)
• Stage Manager - Fen “Mystical frog beast” Brunt
• Executive Lighting Director - Dave “I support truancy” Street (LMH)
• Lighting Director - Amy “I speak in Shrek references” Hemsworth (Univ)

• Marketing Manager - Bíbor “They get a fun surprise” Batki (St Hugh's)
• Graphic Design - Weronika “Where doth the pigeon sit?” Galka (St Peter's)

• Music Director - Fabian “Am I the fanfiction?” Bourdeax (St Anne's)
• Choreographer - Lily “#homeostasis” Massey (Pembroke)
• Pianist - Kevin “I'm quitting the music industry” Zheng (St Anne's)
• Guitarist - Najeeb “Person I taught to use the dark web” Al-Shabibi (St Anne's)

• Welfare Officer - Uğur “No current intention of sleeping with Fabian” Özcan (Jesus)
• Make-up - Weronika “You'll look like a pimp” Galka (St Peter's)

• The Guard Song
  • Fabian “I'm sticking to nunneries” Bourdeaux (St Anne's)
  • Maya “More of a flay than a slop” Walker (St Anne's)
• The Weird Sisters
  • Macey “Let me assume my dramatic pose” Pattenden (Worcester)
  • Caleb “I haven't seen this side of you” Lee
• Haggis and Chips - Cassie “What rhymes with coup? I know, sniffing glue” Wicks (St Hilda's)
• The Murder Song - Fabian “Ignore all the dangerous stuff in there” Bourdeaux (St Anne's)
• Memento Merry - Em “A political pool party in a game of Sims” Fawcett (Wadham)
• Constantly Thwarted
  • Maya “I twink therefore I am” Walker (St Anne's)
  • Jake “Cher said it better” Caudwell (Magdalen)
• The Scottish Play - Patrick “Some vocal chord action :)” Painter (St Anne's)

Programme

Script