Let's Steal the Crown Jewels! (Hilary, 2016)

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An evil mastermind alone and brooding deep in his volcano lair, three (and a half) scouts determined to attain a badge whispered of only in legend, a group of petty thieves set on striving for greater things, one goal… TO STEAL THE CROWN JEWELS. Follow the successes and follies of three rivals as they (in)expertly attempt to get their hands on the greatest prize of them all. Do a group of jam-loving police, the ‘Quite Tricky Missions Executive’, Sherlock Holmes and some guy that really just won’t stop monologuing really have what it takes to save the day? Or shall the jewels fall into the devious and dastardly hands of Dr Diabolical?

• Fred - Benjamin “Try to leave the building standing” Kybett (Magdalen)
• Tim - Jihoon “I just like moving the little horsey” Kang
• Susan - Georgie “He started it!” Atton (Somerville)
• Becky (Mon, Weds) - Jasper Rose “I think they may be lying” Russell (Merton)
• Becky (Tues) - Branoc “Part time police” Richards (Magdalen)

• Lily - Beth “I'm the Greatest Scout!” Mabbutt (LMH)
• Lucy - Frances “Shut up Alfie!” Livesey (Corpus Christi)
• Alfie - Connie “I'm a distraction!” Tongue
• Jaime - Georgia “I'm hungry” Nicholson (St Hugh's)

• Tom Fuse - Adrian “All round nigh-invicible action hero!” Clayton (Hertford (Graduated))
• Scotty McGeek - Patrick “Oh, that's absurd” Kidger (Magdalen)
• Jane Pistol - Anna “I'll shoot your kneecaps” Spearing-Ewyn (St. John's College)
• Ryan Bungee - Jake “Toned, muscular gut” Griffiths (Brasenose)
• Franklin R. Double-Agent - Leo “Your Wifi is dreadful” Tucker (Wadham)

• Zoe - Ana “Just stuff his body under the table” Pagu (St. Edmund Hall)
• Alan - Bertie “Blimey!” Veres
• Kate - Laura “Can we nut 'em?” Hankins (Magdalen)
• Gary - Tristan “Ain't done nothing” Cresswell (Sheffield)

• Dr Diabolical - James “Incompetent fools!” Carter (Ex-Magdalen)
• Alpha - Kiwi “Do I have to do everything myself?” Apteryx-Tokoeka (Charles Xavier School For Gifted Youngsters)
• Theta (Mon, Weds) - Fyr “The cook”
• Theta (Tues) - RA “Also the demolitions expert” Neat
• Epsilon - Michael “The duffel bag carrier” Chester

• Flick Ranger - James “Dinghy back alley” Bruce (Corpus Christi)
• Sherlock Holmes - Katie “John, get back on stage” Moore (Magdalen)
• John Watson - Rob “I'm not your assistant” Selth (Univ)

• Sam the Barkeep - RA “You've still not paid your tab!” Neat

• Director - Georgie “Where did I put my script?” Atton (Somerville)
• Co-Assistant Director - Katie “It's the script's fault” Moore (Magdalen)
• Assistant Co-Director - Branoc “I am a flip chart” Richards (Magdalen)
• Writer - Benjamin “Stop adding romantic subplots” Kybett (Magdalen)
• Writer - Cameron “Not quite Katie” Alsop (St Catherine's)
• Stage Manager - Benjamin “Why did I write in *annoying prop*?” Kybett (Magdalen)
• Producer - Frances “Franulated Sugar” Livesey (Corpus Christi)
• Technical Director - Morgan “Evil wash” Wilkinson (Hertford)
• Photographer - Georgie “Memory card full?!” Atton (Somerville)

• The Greatest Scout - Katie “I wrote sheet music!” Moore (Magdalen)
• The Deductive Sherlock Holmes - Matilda “Cameron's Mysterious Friend” Tempest (Mansfield)
• Diabolical! - James Carter (Ex-Magdalen) and Frances Livesey (Corpus Christi)
• How to Be a Scout - Cameron “I know what key I'm playing in” Alsop (St Catherine's)
• Betrayal Blues - Cameron “Smooth jazz” Alsop (St Catherine's)
• Finale (Lyrics) - Katie “You wouldn't download a crown” Moore (Magdalen)
• Finale (Music) - Cameron “Dun dun dunnnnn!” Alsop (St Catherine's)
• All Music Arranged and Played by - Cameron “Music Monkey” Alsop (St Catherine's)

lstcj_script.pdf