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--- myths_and_legends [2018/04/13 22:14]
lily
+++ myths_and_legends [2018/04/13 22:17]
lily [Biscuit Tax]
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 At least one of the slogans we have used over the years is "//Biscuits and Wine Since 1999//"! OULES of years gone past, Elizabeth, gives a good explanation as to why:
->"//Picture the scene. It is Easter 2001, and Sue and I are pacing along a beach. Pacing pensively, and indeed sadly. A deep anxiety has opened up beneath us, where the casual observer might see only sand. Sue and I have promised to direct the OULES play in the following term, and it is to be the beautiful . This play shines, glimmers and indeed shimmers with so much wit and charm that it's difficult to cut thoroughly. We are unlikely to make it less than 2 hours long. This does not matter from the point of view of audiences, as the play is for the summer, charity performance and so is not limited by what is reasonable to take to an old people's home. Nor does it matter from the point of view of our actors, as we have a uniquely superb range of young OULES desperate for parts. But how will we find time to rehearse it all? We only have 2 rehearsals a week, and though they're meant to be 2 hours long, the punctuality of the average OULE means that you get at most an hour's rehearsing done.
+>"//Picture the scene. It is Easter 2001, and Sue and I are pacing along a beach. Pacing pensively, and indeed sadly. A deep anxiety has opened up beneath us, where the casual observer might see only sand. Sue and I have promised to direct the OULES play in the following term, and it is to be the beautiful . This play shines, glimmers and indeed shimmers with so much wit and charm that it's difficult to cut thoroughly. We are unlikely to make it less than 2 hours long. This does not matter from the point of view of audiences, as the play is for the summer, charity performance and so is not limited by what is reasonable to take to an old people's home. Nor does it matter from the point of view of our actors, as we have a uniquely superb range of young OULES desperate for parts. But how will we find time to rehearse it all? We only have 2 rehearsals a week, and though they're meant to be 2 hours long, the punctuality of the average OULE means that you get at most an hour's rehearsing done//.
-A light shines. We have contemplated the psychology of the individual and obtained a plausible solution. OULES are essentially like puppies, and so the best way to train them is with biscuits. And thus we form our plan. It probably will not mean anyone's any earlier to rehearsals, but it will mean there're more biscuits around, and so Sue and I will worry less.//"
+>//A light shines. We have contemplated the psychology of the individual and obtained a plausible solution. OULES are essentially like puppies, and so the best way to train them is with biscuits. And thus we form our plan. It probably will not mean anyone's any earlier to rehearsals, but it will mean there're more biscuits around, and so Sue and I will worry less.//"
+And so "Biscuit Debt" was born. It works a little something like this:
+  *If you are more than 15 minutes late for rehearsal, you must bring a packet of biscuits next time.
+  *If you are more than 30 minutes late, you owe us 2 packets of biscuits.
+  *If you are more than 45 minutes late, you owe us 3 packets of biscuits.
+  *If you are more than an hour late, or fail to show up at all (without reasonable excuse), then you fall into wine-debt, and must bring a bottle of booze to the next rehearsal.
+So there it is in a nutshell. We can say no more, although Elizabeth does have one more thing to say:
+> "//This clearly teaches those young puppy-like OULEs that skiving rehearsals does not pay. For if booze is brought, I will drink it, and I will then be drunk, and it's not in anyone's interest to let that happen.//"
+Nowadays (well, 2018), the enforcement of Biscuit Tax comes down to a director-by-director basis and the provision of wine is more limited to parties (or when certain past Secretaries drink before rehearsals...), but it is a fact universally acknowledged that nobody objects to biscuits at rehearsals.

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