====== The Last Cow in Nowheresville (Trinity, 2010) ======

{{ :shows:poirot_nowheresville.jpeg?200 |nowheresville poster}}

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//Last Cow tells the tale of a young adventurer's stay in a seemingly innocuous place called Nowheresville, a town beset by villainy from all sides, in which the only cow left looks suspiciously like a pantomime horse. The play is notable for its use of meta-textual dialogue, its genre-savvy characters, and the large amount of cross-dressing//
===== Cast =====

  * **Narrator** - [[member:Marcus Garner-Hatcher|Marcus]] //"speaking of penis jokes"// [[member:Marcus Garner-Hatcher|Garner-Hatcher]] //(Lincoln)//
  * **The Linedance Kid** - [[member:Tom Perkins|Tom]] //"last night in bed"//  [[member:Tom Perkins|Perkins]] //(New)//
  * **Wayne Clintwood** - [[member:Dan Artus|Dan]] //"don't push it"//  [[member:Dan Artus|Artus]] //(Regent's Park)//
  * **Butch the Indecisively Named** - [[member:Sasha McKenna|Sasha]] //"the adjective"// [[member:Sasha McKenna|McKenna]] //(St Hildas)//
  * **Good Hench** - [[member:Benjamin Nye|Benjamin]] //"won't stop till the drag me off"// [[member:Benjamin Nye|Nye]] //(Hertford)//
  * **Bad Hench** - Seb //"three commandments I haven't broken yet"// Atay
  * **Ugly Hench** - [[member:Helen Nightingale|Helen]] //"I'll verb your noun"//  [[member:Helen Nightingale|Nightingale]] //(Somerville)//
  * **Sheriff Benedict** - [[member:Fabby Styles|Fabby]] //"amoral associate"//  [[member:Fabby Styles|Styles]] //(Oriel)//
  * **Deputy Order** - [[member:Mariel Harrison|Mariel]] //"more imprisonment without trial"//  [[member:Mariel Harrison|Harrison]] //(St Hilda's)//
  * **Virginia Cockermouth** - [[member:Thomas Woolley|Thomas]] //"broadcaster of bovine brainwaves"// [[member:Thomas Woolley|Woolley]] //(St Johns)//
  * **Handjive Harry <sub>(Local Tycoon)</sub>** - [[member:Duncan Coutts|Duncan]] //"special socks"// [[member:Duncan Coutts|Coutts]] //(Worcester)//
  * **Scarlett** - [[member:Felicity White|Felicity]] //"rassifrassin' varmints"// [[member:Felicity White|White]] //(Merton)//
  * **Jane** -[[member: Eilise Norris|Eilise]] //"not sure why I mentioned it"// [[member:Eilise Norris|Norris]] //(Mansfield)//
  * **Doc Green** - [[member:Richard Owen|Richard]] //"only a model"// [[member:Richard Owen|Owen]] //(Ex-Lincoln)//
  * **Dr Doctor** - [[member:Martin Corcoran|Martin]] //"coo"// [[member:Martin Corcoran|Corcoran]] //(St. Edmund Hall)//
  * **Rubber** - [[member:Jonathan Sims|Jonathan]] //"trouserless"// [[member:Jonathan Sims|Sims]] //(St. Hilda's)//
  * **Ducky** - [[member:Tim Ledsam|Tim]] //"acquired taste"// [[member:Tim Ledsam|Ledsam]] //(Hertford)//
  * **Monty** -[[member: Sally Outen|Sally]] //"I'm so happy"// [[member:Sally Outen|Outen]] //(Ex-Worcester)//
  * **Roberta Fett** - [[member:Hannah Snell|Hannah]] //"even the most hardened criminals can play the ukulele, ma'am"// [[member:Hannah Snell|Snell]] //(Balliol)//
  * **Bandito 1** - [[member:Martin Corcoran|Martin]] //"itchy moustache"// [[member:Martin Corcoran|Corcoran]] //(St. Edmund Hall)//
  * **Bandito 2** - [[member:Jonathan Lipscombe|Jonathan]] //"etcetera"// [[member:Jonathan Lipscombe|Lipscombe]] //(Mansfield)//
  * **Bandito 3** -[[member: Tim Ledsam|Tim]] //"was going for Gloria Gaynor"// [[member:Tim Ledsam|Ledsam]] //(Hertford)//
  * **Old Spurious Exposition** - Péter //"néver"// Connell
  * **Mysterious Stranger** - [[member:Alice Young|Alice]] //"ukulele troll"// [[member:Alice Young|Young]] //(Hertford)//

===== Production =====

  * **Written by** - The SHAM
  * **Additional Material by** - [[member:Marcus Garner-Hatcher|Marcus]] //“more words that are funny”// [[member:Marcus Garner-Hatcher|Garner-Hatcher]] //(Lincoln)//
  * **Directed by** - [[member:Jenni Goodchild]] //(Mansfield)// and rk hughes //(hertford)//
  * **Musical Director** - 	[[member:Samuel Swinnerton|Samuel]] //“did not sign up for this”// [[member:Samuel Swinnerton|Swinnerton]] //(Queen's)//
  * **Songs by** :
    * [[member:Perry Hartland-Asbury]] //(Mansfield)//
    * [[member:Jenni Goodchild]] //(Mansfield)//
    * [[member:Fabby Styles]] //(Oriel)//
    * [[member:Samuel Swinnerton]] //(Queen's)//
    * [[member:Felicity White]] //(Merton)//
  * **With help from** :
    * [[member:Marcus Garner-Hatcher]] //(Lincoln)//
    * [[member:Jonathan Sims]] //(St. Hilda's)//
    * [[member:Sasha McKenna]] //(St Hildas)//
    * rk hughes //(hertford)//
===== Script and Programme =====

===== Flosscars Wins =====

|**Best Prop**|[[member:Tim Ledsam]] //(Hertford)// for The Plot Crunch-o-matic 3000|
|**Best Special Effect**|[[member:Perry Hartland-Asbury]] //(Mansfield)// for Tumbleweed|
|**Best fluff/fuck-up/cock-up during a performance**|[[member:Tim Ledsam]] //(Hertford//) for Breaking Rule 3. You know, the one that was written because of this incident...|
===== Flosscars Nominations =====

|**Best Hero**|[[member: Tom Perkins]] //(New)// for The Line-Dance Kid|
|**The "M-Tropolis and M-Town" award for Best Double Act/Couple**|[[member: Dan Artus]] //(Regent's Park)// and [[member: Tom Perkins]] //(New)// for The Line-Dance Kid and Wayne Clintwood \\ [[member: Sasha McKenna]] //(St Hildas)// and [[member: Fabby Styles]] //(Oriel)// for Sheriff Benedict and Butch the Indecisively Named|
|**Best Portrayal of a Member of the Opposite Sex**|[[member: Sasha McKenna]] //(St Hildas)// for Butch the Spurious Adjective \\ [[member: Thomas Woolley]] //(St Johns)// for Virginia Cockermouth|
|**The "Tom Reynolds" Award for most Spurious Accent**|[[member: Mariel Harrison]] //(St Hilda's)// for Deputy Lauren Order \\ [[member: Tim Ledsam]] //(Hertford)// for Ducky the Hooker \\ [[member: Tim Ledsam]] //(Hertford)// for Mexican Bandito \\ [[member: Marcus Garner-Hatcher]] //(Lincoln)// for Old Line Dance Kid \\ The whole cast|
|**Best Directing Team**|[[member: Jenni Goodchild]] //(Mansfield)//, rk hughes //(hertford)// and [[member: Samuel Swinnerton]] //(Queen's)//|
|**Best Writer**|The SHAM and [[member: Marcus Garner-Hatcher]] //(Lincoln)//|
|**Best Song**|[[member: Fabby Styles]] //(Oriel)// for Any Man I Can \\ [[member: Felicity White]] //(Merton)// and [[member: Samuel Swinnerton]] //(Queen's)// for Nothing Ever Happens Here In Nowheresville|
|**Best Costume**|[[member: Tim Ledsam]] //(Hertford)// for Ducky the Hooker|
|**Best fluff/fuck-up/cock-up during a performance**|[[member: Perry Hartland-Asbury]] //(Mansfield)// and [[member: Tim Ledsam]] //(Hertford)// for The onstage destruction of the plot-crunch-o-matic...|
|**Best Quote (during a show)**|[[member: Martin Corcoran]] //(St. Edmund Hall)// and The SHAM for "Moo moo I'm a coo milk me noo milk me noo" \\ [[member: Richard Owen]] //(Ex-Lincoln)// and The SHAM for "Pseudoscience away!...Oh yes, this pulsating erection should give us quite the golden shower."|
|**The "Dan Artus" Award for Best Worst Line-learner**|[[member: Richard Owen]] //(Ex-Lincoln)// for Doc Green \\ [[member: Dan Artus]] //(Regent's Park)// for Wayne Clintwood|
|**The "Ooh you luvvie" Award for actually being able to act**|[[member: Helen Nightingale]] //(Somerville)// for Ugly Hench|
|**The "Beyond the Call of Duty" Award for Going Beyond the Call of Duty**|[[member: Helen Nightingale]] //(Somerville)// for Ugly Hench|

{{topic>nowheresville +song list&nodesc&nouser&nodate}}

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