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• James Bond (007) - Tim “Just roll down my trousers” Ledsam (Hertford)
• Eva Likova - Asha “always around for pleasure” Hartland-Asbury (Brasenose)
• John (009) - Benjamin “LOOK! EAGLES!” Kybett (Magdalen)
• Xenia Oddfeld - Emma “why is nobody putting on the kettle?!” New (St Hildas)
• M - Beth “slightly larger hat” Mabbutt (LMH)
• Q - Ben “highly specialised operations” Below (Worcester)
• Moneypenny - Alice “really quite silly” McAndrew
• Hogan - Rebecca “an abomination” Nightingale (Filthy Brooks Interloper)
• Helena - Brigitte “flam-powered laser throwers”Stenhouse (Somerville)
• Helga - Steph “in da hood” Crampin
• Helga (Friday) - Holly “is there a rule for that?” Morgan (Mansfield)
• Hatty - Jessica “what’s going on?” Law (St.Anne's)
• #1 - Luke “do take note” Cozens (LMH)
• #2 - Leila “additional vehicles” Al-Izzi
• #3 - Klara “on top of things” Janiec
• #4 - Ellie “de dum” Armstrong
• #5 - Ashley “trained by evil ninjas” Cooper
• #6 - Ben “but I don’t have any lines” Carey
• #7 - Ed “because I have a penis” Shaw (Worcester)
• Agent 0010 - James “you mean my penis?” Marsden (Corpus)
• Agent 008 - Lyman “nectar of his pomegranates” Gamberton (Brasenose)
• Agent 0013 - Soraya “but that’s a chair” Liu
• Agent 001101001 - Elena “either way you’ve lost” Harty (Magdalen)
• Simon - Ed “because I have a penis” Shaw (Worcester)
• Susan - Anna “remarkably gloopy” Spearing-Ewyn (St. John's College)
• Sam - Leila “tied up and helpless” Al-Izzi
• Sarah - Ivy “only so many mutations” Mestrovic
• Sarah (Friday) - Ashley “trained by evil ninjas” Cooper
• Serena - Efi “lack of sleep” Gauthier (St Hugh's)
• Sabrina - Morgan “what happened next?” Wilkinson (Hertford)
• Auctioneer - Morgan “what on Earth was that?” Wilkinson (Hertford)
• Auctioneer's Assistant - Soraya “but that’s a chair” Liu
• Will - James “Sex on the Beach” Marsden (Corpus)
• Tiffany Chantilly - Anna “it’s….blue” Spearing-Ewyn (St. John's College)
• Felicia Ryder - Ivy “only so many mutations” Mestrovic
• Felicia Ryder (Friday) - Brigitte “flame-powered laser throwers” Stenhouse (Somerville)
• Bernard Chesterton III - Peter “magic suit” Shepherd
• Ophelia - Efi “lack of sleep” Gauthier (St Hugh's)
• Albert T Asparagus - Samuel “rhubarb rhubarb rhubarb” Hilton (Queen's)
• Auction Attendee 1 - Lyman “nectar of the pomegranates” Gamberton (Brasenose)
• Auction Attendee 2 - Alice “really quite silly” McAndrew
• Singer - Judith “like Darth Vader but sexier” Moore (Balliol)

• Director - Holly “oh god, the show’s today” Morgan (Mansfield)
• Assistant Director - Judith “I can be the nasty director” Moore (Balliol)
• Script - Perry “another course in wise cracking” Hartland-Asbury (Ex-Mansfield)
• Musical Directors - Asha Hartland-Asbury, Emma New and Perry Hartland-Asbury
• Producer - Morgan “can we do without…” Wilkinson (Hertford)
• Sound and Light - Richard “pilly” Owen (Ex-Lincoln)