FLOSSCARS
This is our annual award ceremony. It is so called
because the awards are not just any old small magnetic Oscars, no, they
are small magnetic Oscars with dental floss tied round their necks. This
makes them entirely different and original. Actually, though, they
have only actually been small magnetic Oscars once, for the
first Flosscars ceremony in 2000. In 2001 they were bendy men with
floss tied round their necks and in 2002 they were flosscards, ie luggage
labels strung up with floss. So the important point is clearly the
floss and any casual resemblance to other award ceremonies is purely accidental.
Flosscars takes place in Trinity term, and nominations and votes are
due before the performances of the current play, so it's always an issue of much
debate whether or not to include that play. A different decision seems
to be reached every time, which explains why Good Show, Jeeves! has
been included twice, and there were four plays for the 2002 Flosscars.
There's also some form of award ceremony at VOLES,
but this is a more haphazard affair, known possibly as
Mosscars.
Anyway, here are the nominations of the Flosscars so far. Where
I remember who won I have put them in red, but my memory is dodgy and
the lists of nominations are all I have, so there are a lot of gaps.
If you do know who won let me know!
2003
2002
2001
2000
2003
Relevant Plays:
Aladdin
The Wind in the Willows
A Charming Little Murder Mystery
Best hero
Andrea for Aladdin (Aladdin)
Cath for Mole (Wind in the Willows)
Elizabeth for Mr Toad (Wind in the Willows)
Rhi for John (Charming Little Murder Mystery)
Best heroine
Helen for Princess Leia (Aladdin)
Courtney for Torrie (Charming Little Murder Mystery)
Julia for Lucie (Charming Little Murder Mystery)
Best villain
Franco for the King (Aladdin)
Duncan for a Weasel (Wind in the Willows)
Kit for a Weasel (Wind in the Willows)
Miles for Chief Weasel (Wind in the Willows)
The ooh you lovey award for actually being able to act
Naomi for Badger (Wind in the Willows)
Dominic for the Dame and Albert (Aladdin / Charming Little Murder Mystery)
Ruth for Maddie (Wind in the Willows)
Emily for the Bargewoman (Wind in the Willows)
Best Ad-Lib
Dominic for 'caffeine high' (A)
Dominic for 'librarian of the month' (Wind in the Willows)
Ruth for being good with handcuffs (Wind in the Willows)
Duncan, Kit and Cath 'which do you choose, death or cake' (Wind in the Willows)
Best impersonation of a member of the animal kingdom impersonating a
member of the opposite sex
Elizabeth for Toad being Maddy (Wind in the Willows)
Duncan for Weasel being Maddy (Wind in the Willows)
Best double act
Kit and Duncan (Wind in the Willows)
Rhi and Lydia (Aladdin)
Julia and Rhi (Charming Little Murder Mystery)
Best on-stage fuck-up/mistake
Rose getting drunk on stage (Charming Little Murder Mystery)
Lydia skipping 2 scenes of the panto (Charming Little Murder Mystery)
Skipping lots of CLMM, then 'but what we should be discussing' from Harry (Charming Little Murder Mystery)
Crash not working (Wind in the Willows)
The 'Beyond the call of duty' award
Rose drinking wine onstage (Charming Little Murder Mystery)
Dominic learning lines at last minute (Charming Little Murder Mystery)
Elizabeth doing website
Mike playing keyboard
Andrea lying still for an hour (Charming Little Murder Mystery)
Sally for being the back end of a horse (Wind in the Willows)
Phil driving lots with costumes (Aladdin)
Mark and Keith - lighting (Aladdin and Charming Little Murder Mystery)
Best quote
"I've got a thingy, it's long and extendable" - Andrea
"At least yours never put a horse's head in your bed" - Rose, on scouts
Kit - "Cath, do I look like a camel?" Cath - "no, more of a meer cat"
Someone: "Let's all sing the necrophile song" Needham: "Over my dead body....NO!"
Best last-minute oule
Dominic for Albert (Charming Little Murder Mystery)
Lydia for Genie (Aladdin)
Clare for Betty (Charming Little Murder Mystery)
Best drink
OULES cocktail
Wine in CLMM
Borovnica (blueberry liquor)
Orange juice and chocolate liquor
Best category
'Best category'
'Best impersonation of a member of the animal kingdom impersonating a
member of the opposite sex'
'Best Quote'
'Best word for poo'
Best inanimate object
Dominic's wig (Aladdin)
The tiny tea set (Aladdin and Charming Little Murder Mystery)
Cotton Candy (Aladdin)
Car (Wind in the Willows)
Best impersonation of a member of the opposite sex
Lydia for Augustus (Wind in the Willows)
Rose for Ralph (Charming Little Murder Mystery)
Dominic for Dame (Aladdin)
Cath for Mustafa (Aladdin)
Best line-learner
Dominic (CLMM )
Andrea (Aladdin)
Lydia (Aladdin)
Naomi (Wind in the Willows)
Best speech
"I'd like to tell you a story" (Aladdin)
Andrea's toast speech (Charming Little Murder Mystery)
Genie's rhymes (Aladdin)
Granny - cats were cats (Aladdin)
Best costume
Dominic for Dame (Aladdin)
Ruth for Maddy (Wind in the Willows)
Andrea for Aladdin (Aladdin)
Rakesh for Genie (Aladdin)
Naomi for Badger (Wind in the Willows)
Best impersonation of an animal
Elizabeth for Toad (Wind in the Willows)
Cath for Mole (Wind in the Willows)
Naomi for Badger (Wind in the Willows)
Ruth + Sally for the horse (Wind in the Willows)
Best corpsing
Noga throughout the play(Aladdin)
Whole of Charming Little Murder Mystery during "librarian of the month"
Kit - "really?" (Wind in the Willows)
Noga during mother joke (Wind in the Willows)
Best song
The senseless immoral song (Aladdin)
A whole new vole (Aladdin)
Army song (Aladdin)
Best vomiting
Rose straight after Charming Little Murder Mystery
Lydia after Wind in the Willows/Charming Little Murder Mystery cast party
Harry on sofa at Aladdin cast party
AA for most alcoholic award
Lydia
Andrea
Rose
Cath (apparently has been overheard ordering £300 worth of alcohol!)
Best word for poo
Govno (Russian)
velka halda hovien (Slovak)
shissdrack (Swiss-German)
poop (American)
Best dodgy accent/thpeech impediment
Lucyf for the Frenchman (Aladdin)
Ruth for Maddie (Wind in the Willows)
Dominic for the Dame (Aladdin)
Best audience
Old people's home for Charming Little Murder Mystery
Aladdin audience that applauded "no pun intended"
Best caricature of oneself
Miles for head weasel (Wind in the Willows)
Rose forRalph (Charming Little Murder Mystery)
Elizabeth for the Randy Queen (Aladdin)
Rakesh for the genie (Aladdin)
Ruth for Private Function (Aladdin)
In addition, Elizabeth instituted the Lovely Committee Member awards,
which went to:
Cath Howdle
Andrea Watts
Julia Short
2002
Relevant Plays:
Arsenic and Old Lace
Sleeping Beauty
The Canterville Ghost
The Three Musketeers
Best hero:
Pete for D'Argtanion (The Three Musketeers)
Duncan for Mortimer (Arsenic and Old Lace)
Jhon for the Ghost (The Canterville Ghost)
Best Heroine:
Julia for Virginia (The Canterville Ghost)
Lid for Belle (Sleeping Beauty)
Nora for just being everyone's heroine
Kate for Aunt Abby (Arsenic and Old Lace)
Best Villain:
Elizabeth for Fairy Stovthemall (Sleeping Beauty)
John for the Ghost (The Canterville Ghost)
Anas for Chonny (Arsenic and Old Lace)
Best Double Act:
Lid and Andrea for the twins (The Canterville
Ghost) and Belle and Maid Marion (Sleeping Beauty)
Rhi and Kate for Aunts Abby and Martha (Arsenic and Old Lace)
Fairy Stovthemall and the Evil Minion (The Canterville Ghost)
The "Ooh you lovey" award for actually being able to act:
Jenny for Nora
Jhon for the Ghost (The Canterville Ghost)
Pete for D'Argtanion (The Three Musketeers)
Best ad-lib:
Colin for "When we first moved here my wife wasn't
very ill. No, that's not right. Actually she was extremely ill, and then
she died." In the most beautifully calm manner in the first scene of Arsenic
and making me corpse. (Arsenic and Old Lace)
Kate for "You're not having a good day for names, are you dear?"
after Rhi repeatedly said the wrong one. (Arsenic and Old Lace)
Lid for "I'm so hungry. I wish I had some pies, but there are
no pies. I wonder who ate all the pies." (Sleeping Beauty)
Noga and Elizabeth and Julia (but I think mainly Noga) for talking
about tennis while Duncan wouldn't come on. (The Canterville Ghost)
Elizabeth for "You don't like girls, do you," (Sleeping Beauty)
Best on-stage fuck-up:
Duncan for failing to come on stage (The Canterville Ghost)
Duncan: "What's my line?" (Sleeping Beauty)
Duncan: "Bastard!" at the lovely school (Sleeping Beauty)
Lid for cutting the last two scenes of the panto
with premature poetry (Sleeping Beauty)
Best speech:
Julia for the "not me" speech (The Three Musketeers)
Nicole for The hamster speech in panto (Sleeping
Beauty)
Elizabeth for the "There's nothing I can't do" speech (Sleeping
Beauty)
Best Audience:
The first night of The Canterville Ghost
The second school for Sleeping Beauty (what
was its name?)
The second night of Sleeping Beauty
Worst Audience:
St Peters JCR for ignoring us
St Peters JCR for refusing to come up on stage
St Peters JCR for being miserable bastards
St Peters JCR for accepting flashing but refusing to react
St Peters JCR for being more interested in football
St Peters JCR for not finding it funny when we gave them a tampon
for being our worst audience
(I don't mean to influence your choice, but they were mean little
critters. )
The "Beyond the call of duty" award, for going beyond the call of duty
:
Duncan for making the window seat (Arsenic and Old Lace)
Lid for flashing St Peters JCR in an attempt to get a reaction
(Sleeping Beauty)
Andrea for going on with a VERY badly sprained ankle
(The Canterville Ghost)
The "cliff edge" award for person most likely to lower the tone of conversation:
Elizabeth
Duncan
Lid
(We husted for this on the night.)
Best quote:
Rhi "I'm not drunk, I can speak entirely legibly."
Kate "You can't feed Mr. Spenalzo to the gimp. Why,
he's a vegetarian."
Lid "Spontaneous orgasms? Don't I need a man?"
Own up. Who was this. "That's so funny I nearly ate the wrong
bit of pistachio."
Nicole "Do we have to do the seduction scene now? I've just
had a burger."
Big Nora "I resent being referred to as 'Big Nora.'"
Best last-minute OULE:
Noga for Fairy Lea (Sleeping Beauty)
Tessa for Fairy Lea (Sleeping Beauty)
Best caricature of oneself:
Lid for Belle (Sleeping Beauty)
Anas for Chonny (Arsenic and Old Lace)
Nicole for Milady (The Three Musketeers)
Best drink: (for explanations, see drinks
)
OULES cocktail
Spanking
The spanking cocktail that nearly make Elizabeth yak (NOT Lid's fault) (Oh yeah - Ed)
Gin and Tonic
Best drunk:
The King in the panto
Duncan for climbing in windows and clothes-swapping
Sam for being cocktailed upside-down
Best category:
Best category
Cliff-edge
Best dodgy accent:
Jason for Dr Einstein (Arsenic and Old Lace)
Lid and Andrea for the twins (The Canterville Ghost)
Nicole for Jean-Pierre (Sleeping Beauty)
Play most susceptible to having a porn version (I expect explanations):
Arsenic and Old Lace
Sleeping Beauty
The Canterville Ghost
The Three Musketeers
2001
For photos, see
Richard's website
.
Relevant Plays:
Good Show, Jeeves!
Dick Turpentine
An Ideal Husband
Best hero:
Kate Broadhurst for Bertie Wooster (Good Show Jeeves)
Elizabeth Baldwin for Lord Goring (An Ideal Husband)
Noga Zivan for Bob Lampwick (Dick Turpentine)
Best heroine:
Rebecca Zerdin for Mabel Chiltern (An Ideal Husband)
Danielle Cotter for Vera de Vere (Dick Turpentine)
Susanne Calabrese for Lady Chiltern (An Ideal Husband)
Best Bad Guy:
Franco Woolfe for Ulrich the Ultimate Baddie (Dick
Turpentine)
Kate Broadhurst for Dick Turpentine (Dick Turpentine)
Tara Reeves for Mrs. Chievely (An Ideal Husband)
Best inanimate object:
Hobby Horse (Dick Turpentine)
Door that wouldn't shut (An Ideal Husband)
Fairy Blobmother's Fairy Wand (Dick Turpentine)
Best Love Scene:
Rhian Mogridge and Kate Broadhurst for Madeline and
Bertie (Good Show, Jeeves!)
Rebecca Zerdin and Elizabeth Baldwin for Mabel and Lord Goring
(An Ideal Husband)
Noga Zivan and Dannielle Cotter for Bob and Vera (Dick Turpentine)
Best Impersonation of a person on the opposite sex:
Duncan Coutts for Dame Lampwick (Dick Turpentine)
Elizabeth Baldwin for Lord Goring (An Ideal Husband)
Kate Broadhurst for Bertie Wooster (Good Show Jeeves)
Most Quoted Line:
Dev Gangee for "Look at me, I'm an egg!"
(Dick Turpentine)
James Needham for "Speech! Speech!" (Good Show Jeeves)
Kate Broadhurst and Rhian Mogridge for "Wahahahaha!" (Dick
Turpentine)
Best caricature of oneself:
James Needham for Gussie Fink-Nottle (Good Show Jeeves)
Elizabeth Baldwin for the Fairy Blobmother (Dick
Turpentine)
Rebecca Zerdin for Mabel Chiltern (An Ideal Husband)
Best special effect:
The (slightly late) Woo hoo and flashing lights (Dick Turpentine)
The Signs giving locations (Dick Turpentine)
The gin in the orange juice (Good Show Jeeves)
Best Line Learner:
Kate Broadhurst for Bertie Wooster (Good Show Jeeves)
Alex Henlin for Jeeves (Good Show Jeeves)
Liz Norman for policeman (Dick Turpentine)
Best Worst Line Learner:
Michael Mansour for Sir Robert Chiltern (An Ideal
Husband)
Tara Reeves for Mrs. Chievely (An Ideal Husband)
Franco Woolfe for Ulrich the Ultimate Baddie (Dick Turpentine)
Best onstage tantrum:
Catherine Harrison for Lady de Vere insisting
that her daughter cannot marry Bob Lampwick (Dick Turpentine)
Dannielle Cotter for Vera de Vere saying she will not stay around
to be rescued because she has a black belt in origami (Dick Turpentine)
The kids shouting so loudly that the policemen abandoned lines
and said 'shall we just sod off?' 'yeah, think that might be best'...
(Dick Turpentine)
Best off stage tantrum:
Noga Zivan when four actors hadn't showed up at the Mabel Pritchard
School (Dick Turpentine)
Four girls and Mike Mansour being sexist. (An
Ideal Husband)
Noga Zivan at one of the nursing homes (An Ideal Husband)
Best Ad Lib:
James Needham for "An old old friend... who knows where you live!"
(Good Show Jeeves)
Elizabeth Baldwin for repositioning the stage when
an old lady sat on the props (An Ideal Husband)
Kate Broadhurst, Rhian Mogridge and Susanne Calabrese going into
the audience to combat heckling (Dick Turpentine)
Best Heckle:
Alex Runchman for Dick Turpentine (Dick Turpentine)
Old woman joining in at Beech Court (Good Show Jeeves)
Old woman walking across stage and sitting on the props (An
Ideal Husband)
OULE of the Year:
Elizabeth Baldwin
Noga Zivan
Liz Norman
Best bottle of gin:
The one in the orange juice (Good Show Jeeves)
The one pretending to be tonic
The one at Noga and Richard's party
Best scene change:
The loooonnnnnnggggggg scene change (An Ideal Husband)
Chaise Longue (Dick Turpentine)
The signs changing location at a flip (Dick Turpentine)
Best new OULE:
Susanne Calabrese
Jenny Fawson
Rebecca Zerdin
Best good egg:
Dev Gangee (for actually being an egg!)
Rhian Mogridge
Duncan Coutts
Best rehearsal venue:
Tuition fees protest outside the Bod (An Ideal Husband)
A corridor in St. Peter's college (An Ideal Husband)
Christchurch Meadows (Good Show Jeeves)
Best Last Minute OULE:
Alex Henlin for Jeeves (Good Show Jeeves)
Liz Norman for standing in as a policeman - twice! (Dick Turpentine)
Jonny and Andrew for Bonzo and Thomas (Good Show Jeeves)
Best speech:
Rhian Mogridge for Whitewash's eulogy on the virtues of tea
(Dick Turpentine)
James Needham for Gussie Fink-Nottle "Speech! Speech!"
(Good Show Jeeves)
Elizabeth Baldwin for Lord Goring explaining why he couldn't get
married (An Ideal Husband)
Best costume:
Duncan Coutts for Dame Lampwick's dress
(Dick Turpentine)
Rebecca Zerdin for the dresses (An Ideal Husband)
Rhian Mogridge for Maddy's dress (Good Show Jeeves)
Best Showing at a Cast party:
Elizabeth Baldwin for getting spectacularly drunk at every party
Rhian Mogridge for falling asleep at the last Flosscars and letting
us put a settee on her
Elizabeth Baldwin for inviting people in to see the
chips she had just... er... deposited in the sink!
Best Flosscar Category:
Most Quoted Line
Best Bottle of Gin
The Alcoholics Anonymous Award for most Drunk OULE
The AAA (Alcoholics Anonymous Award) for Most Drunk OULE:
Elizabeth Baldwin
Kate Broadhurst
OULES Cocktail
Best Performance Venue:
The school with the kids with behavioural problems
and a raised stage (Dick Turpentine)
Beech Court (Good Show Jeeves)
Wadham Gardens (Good Show Jeeves)
Best Acting Despite Hangover:
Kate Broadhurst for Bertie Wooster (Good Show
Jeeves)
Liz Norman for the policeman (Dick Turpentine)
Kate Broadhurst for Dick Turpentine (Dick Turpentine)
Best Director:
Kate Broadhurst for Good Show, Jeeves!
Liz Norman for Dick Turpentine
Noga Zivan for An Ideal Husband
Best Writer:
Liz Norman for Dick Turpentine
The Drunken Script Writing Committee for Dick Turpentine
Oscar Wilde for An Ideal Husband
Lifetime Achievement Award:
James Needham
2000
Relevant Plays:
Dick Whittington
Charley's Aunt
Good Show, Jeeves!
Best Hero:
Ali Parkinson for Dick Whittington (Dick
Whittington)
James Needham for Charley (Charley's Aunt)
Richard Shaw for Jack (Charley's Aunt)
Best Heroine:
Helena Thomas for Elizabeth (Dick Whittington)
Rhi Mogridge for Ela Delahay (Charley's Aunt)
Noga Zivan for Kitty Verdun (Charley's Aunt)
Best Bad Guy:
James Needham for Sir Rufus Sly the Rat King (Dick Whittington)
Duncan Coutts for Stephen Spettigue (Charley's
Aunt)
Amy Leyland for Miss Waterbury (Good Show, Jeeves!)
Best Impersonation of an animal:
Myrta Morales-Cruz for the Cat (Dick
Whittington)
MCR stereo for impersonation of a sheep (Many OULES parties!)
Myrta Morales-Cruz for the Monster (Dick Whittington)
Best inanimate object:
Bottles of bubbly (Charley's Aunt)
The invisible letter from the final scene
of Charley's Aunt
Madeline's vase (Good Show, Jeeves!)
Best Love Scene:
Ali and Helena when Ali was rescued from prison (Dick Whittington)
Richard and Noga: "Try me Jack!" (Charley's
Aunt)
Elizabeth and Alex: "Would you be my little floweret?" (Charley's
Aunt)
Best Impersonation of a person of the Opposite Sex:
Elizabeth for Lord Fancourt Babberly (Charley's Aunt)
Dave Manning for Dame Ethel Goatsbottom (Dick Whittington)
Ali Parkinson for Dick Whittington (Dick Whittington)
Most Quoted Line:
"Next term I mean to work!" (Charley's Aunt)
"Don't you think the stars are like God's daisy chain?"
(Good Show, Jeeves!)
"I'm in cahoots with the Rat King!" (Dick Whittington)
Best caricature of oneself:
Rhi Mogridge as Ela Delahay (Charley's Aunt)
Igor Gramatikovski as Brassett (Charley's Aunt)
James Needham as Charley Wykeham (Charley's
Aunt)
Best special effect:
Collapsible piano at Greengates nursing
home (Charley's Aunt)
Storm (Dick Whittington)
Filmer on piggyback (Good Show, Jeeves!)
Best Worst Line learner:
James Needham for every play so far
Best Line Learner:
Richard Shaw (Charley's Aunt)
Tom Helena's next door neighbour (Dick Whittington)
Alex Runchman (Charley's Aunt)
Best onstage tantrum:
James losing sense of script and mumbling
"Amy, Amy!" (Charley's Aunt)
Elizabeth announcing she would not dress as a woman - "Oh no I'm
not!" (Charley's Aunt)
Kate refusing to be hit on the head (Dick Whittington)
Best offstage tantrum:
Where's James? He's on in a minute! What's he doing with that
bike? (Charley's Aunt)
Kate arriving three minutes before the performance at Greengates
nursing home (Charley's Aunt)
Noga refusing to kiss Richard (Charley's Aunt)
Best 'fluff' during a performance:
The invisible letter in the last scene of Charley's Aunt
James and Richard swapping lines for an entire scene and no
one noticing (Charley's Aunt)
Liz covering up the lost chunk: "Well, it
looks like it's up to me to tell my story then!" (Charley's
Aunt)
Most improvements to actual lines/Best at making up convincing lines/Best
Ad Lib:
Richard Shaw (Charley's Aunt)
James Needham (Charley's Aunt)
Liz Norman (Charley's Aunt)
OULE of the year:
Kate Broadhurst
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